I've cold fever since a week ago. It's like the ocean's ebb and flow, I was better at certain hours, and worse at the next hours. Within these seven bad days, what I'm doing is sleeping for 12 hours per day, get my meal (just if I could force myself to have one), doing my assignments, projects, and promoting future events that I responsible for.
Couldn't really manage my time lately, my laundries have been there for like a week. Room isn't as clean as it used to. I get disgusted with my own self. This is not me.
Until this morning, I slept for 12 hours just like yesterday, from 2230++ but with a nightmare. Heard someone's knocking on my door, everything seems so real. I do remember that I don't lock my door before I get to sleep last night, hoping that someone will wake me up for fajr prayer on this morning. So I started wonder who's on the other side of the door.
I felt like I'm, for real, waking up from my bed and open that door. But everything I see is just a dark alley which I don't familiar with. In the other end of that alley, there's a dime light. That weird dream made the light talking, asking me,
"How's your iman today?"
I was shocked. I'm hurt inside my heart. I feel like I'm stabbed. I'm spiritually dying. That one question made me up from my sleep. Sitting on one side of the bed, crying.
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| Jikalau tuhan pemilik entiti sang cahaya, kepada tuhanlah aku berserah. Amin. |
