Realization.

*listening to One Foot by Fun* 

If we all learn to just put one foot in front of the other, instead of worrying about societal norms and conforming to what society believes we should be, and just learn to be individuals. We all rely too much on religion, the media, and others to define who we are. 

Be who you want to be. 

Be the best you can be. 

Strive for it until you are, and strive to maintain that. 

The sooner we learn this, the better we will all be.

Hurts Like Heaven

I don't want everything I love to die.

— ※※ ￠ Ħ Δ ℟ Ⱡ Ξ ¥ (@xxclf) January 30, 2014

"Saya tak tau la kondisi awak ni, awak nampak tenang je, saya risau." 

"I'm okay la doktor. Jangan risau." 

"Entah macam mana awak pulak yang cakap kat saya supaya jangan risau, awak tak risau ke?" 

"Hurmm, bukan sebab saya tak risau, it's just I'm fully prepared I guess." 

"Apa maksud awak?"

 "Actually, saya tak tidur satu malam semalam, for the whole night sebab thinking about this. Then until this fajr, I called my best friend, I told him everything. Yeah, I might not expecting the worst result, but I still have to be ready for what ever the result is."

"I'm just worried because you shows me no emotion right now. And saya risau tentang masa depan awak. Mungkin awak okay so far, tapi takut awak tak dapat handle this alone in the future."

"Saya ni, doktor, a positive person. Doktor tah payah risau, saya dah cukup matang untuk fikir for any action. Lagipun saya takkanlah nak buat benda-benda bodoh."

"Hurmm bagus la kalau macam tu, cuma saya nak awak jangan buat benda yang tak elok. I can see from here you have a bright future. Go take your medicines, have a positive thought. It can be cured, enshaallah. And most important thing, kalau rasa depress, please talk. Jangan keep it alone, kita ada counseling session with the community. Kalau tak ready for group session, awak boleh call saya any time. Speak out. Mungkin awak fikir awak boleh simpan rahsia ni, tapi who knows someday you dah high pressure, you can always talk to me."

"I will, doktor. Thanks"

"One more thing, saya betul-betul nampak awak ada masa depan yang cerah. Get a good career, get married, have you own family, raise your children. So please, stop doing this thing. Saya tau tak senang nak start changing, tapi please try."

"I can't give you my words."

"Tapi awak boleh cuba, kalau awak nak."

"I don't know, doctor. Not everybody can understand. It's a pleasure."

"But it hurts, kan?"

"You will never know, it hurts like heaven."

February Confession

0000, February 1st
Saturday, 2014.

#ConfessionNight

Lost in music.
— ※※ ￠ Ħ Δ ℟ Ⱡ Ξ ¥ (@xxclf) January 31, 2014

I feel as though my day dreams are ruining everything, I imagine every good situation to be perfect. So when it happen, it's never to my expectation.

Slowly being killed by my own reality when I would rather be dreaming the day away.

#JustAThought