I don't want everything I love to die.
— ※※ ￠ Ħ Δ ℟ Ⱡ Ξ ¥ (@xxclf) January 30, 2014"Saya tak tau la kondisi awak ni, awak nampak tenang je, saya risau."
"I'm okay la doktor. Jangan risau."
"Entah macam mana awak pulak yang cakap kat saya supaya jangan risau, awak tak risau ke?"
"Hurmm, bukan sebab saya tak risau, it's just I'm fully prepared I guess."
"Apa maksud awak?"
"Actually, saya tak tidur satu malam semalam, for the whole night sebab thinking about this. Then until this fajr, I called my best friend, I told him everything. Yeah, I might not expecting the worst result, but I still have to be ready for what ever the result is."
"I'm just worried because you shows me no emotion right now. And saya risau tentang masa depan awak. Mungkin awak okay so far, tapi takut awak tak dapat handle this alone in the future."
"Saya ni, doktor, a positive person. Doktor tah payah risau, saya dah cukup matang untuk fikir for any action. Lagipun saya takkanlah nak buat benda-benda bodoh."
"Hurmm bagus la kalau macam tu, cuma saya nak awak jangan buat benda yang tak elok. I can see from here you have a bright future. Go take your medicines, have a positive thought. It can be cured, enshaallah. And most important thing, kalau rasa depress, please talk. Jangan keep it alone, kita ada counseling session with the community. Kalau tak ready for group session, awak boleh call saya any time. Speak out. Mungkin awak fikir awak boleh simpan rahsia ni, tapi who knows someday you dah high pressure, you can always talk to me."
"I will, doktor. Thanks"
"One more thing, saya betul-betul nampak awak ada masa depan yang cerah. Get a good career, get married, have you own family, raise your children. So please, stop doing this thing. Saya tau tak senang nak start changing, tapi please try."
"I can't give you my words."
"Tapi awak boleh cuba, kalau awak nak."
"I don't know, doctor. Not everybody can understand. It's a pleasure."
"But it hurts, kan?"
"You will never know, it hurts like heaven."
