A random post... But not so random I guess.
Hey, I'm his nobody. Just a friend perhaps, a good friend. I knew we are. We never had a fight, and I guess we never will. Sometimes I wonder who he is. Because he is always there for every laughter and tear. I'm blessed, or just got lucky.
And of course there will be someday, the day I gonna start this story with. It's the day I'm so down, down below the earth. So I talked to him on the phone. I told him about my past sins, those sins I said I will never regret it for it will be meant lot in my life. He is a good listener, he knows all my stories. But he keep listening to me this time, the time I told him on last November 25th that it will come. Talked about things I kept silently from everybody but him alone. The result, the consequence, the fact that a little me inside my heart denied.
"It's positive."
"Hurmmm... Are you okay?"
"I don't know." silence. "I'm confuse."
"Be strong, Hash. Can you promise me something?"
"I don't know if I can make anything for you right now."
"Please.. Promise me you're not gonna make anything stupid."
"You're gonna be here for me, aren't you?"
"I will, but you have to promise me first."...
"Are you still there?"
"Ha'ah.. I have nothing to say"
"Do you want me to come over?"
"You know where the key is. All up to you."
"Just stay in bed and don't do anything 'til I get there"
"Hurmm" hung up.
It just 8 p.m I remembered, but we're already in bed. Hugged. Warmed by the comforter. He asked me to promise him that I have to stop doing what I've did as he asked me before, every time I cried because of it. I'm not a strong man. Being 21 this year doesn't even make me a man, I'm just a kid after all. I was gonna blame my family for all these things because I'm being pampered so much. But he keep reminds me after all these time, my family is all I have. I know. "Hey, remember, uncle always tell you to not losing hope. So, don't". I know.
I was thinking how my future will be? How do I keep these all from the others? But then he told me,
"Future isn't everything, now is."
What I need to do now is accept the fact I'm not the old me. I need changes. I need to let all the negative things go. I need to remove all the negative thoughts from my head. I need to start a brand new life, a better life. I need to love, and to be loved again. He told me, to do all these changes, I have to sacrifice. And sacrificing is not easy. To start a new beginning is to leave my last life, both literally and virtually, he said.
He is, indeed, right. If I wanna change, I have to leave all the bad things, all the bad practices. The the root of all those things is the social media. I'm sorry but I admit it does affects my life so much. I once remember I was a good kid. It's not the internet's fault but mine. So I'm leaving. Leaving everybody just for him.
I wish you're the one worth to be with. Thanks for always be by my side. Thanks for the past, the present, and the future. Thanks for everything.
He is, indeed, right. If I wanna change, I have to leave all the bad things, all the bad practices. The the root of all those things is the social media. I'm sorry but I admit it does affects my life so much. I once remember I was a good kid. It's not the internet's fault but mine. So I'm leaving. Leaving everybody just for him.
I wish you're the one worth to be with. Thanks for always be by my side. Thanks for the past, the present, and the future. Thanks for everything.
Just if you're wondering what is it. Yes, it is HIV.
